How to see borderline personality disorder
Updated: Jan 31
August 14th I disappeared from Instagram, this happens a lot.
I have never had the confidence to talk about why this happens. But after I had a few friends messaging me asking if I was OK, I thought I better explain myself a bit. So hi, I'm Andrea. I have BPD, anxiety and depression. I'm going to explain a little about my BPD and why I act the way I do.
1. Mood swings, I don't mean your general mood swings when someone says they are having a bad day. I mean extreme mood swings. I can be having the day of my life, then crash and feel so low. I will cry, lock myself indoors, hate the world (delete Instagram). Then snap out of it and be completely normal again. This happens suddenly and for no reason.
2. Random obsessions. I become fixated with things, my most recent one being photography. I will spend money on these obsessions, spend hours researching, practising etc. Then suddenly wake up one day and the obsession has gone. I will not care anymore. This has happened with jewellery design, baking, sewing, paper crafts, the list goes on and on and on.
3.feelings of emptiness, I don't know who I am as a person, I don't know what I want, I don't know where I want to be. I will fill this emptiness with the obsessions, or with things like binge eating. (this caused previous eating disorders.
4. Extreme anger, over the smallest reason. I have broken doors, controllers, sofas, jars, Tupperware, glasses the list goes on. I threw an onion bhajis at Tom once. 🤣🤷🏻♀️ I even split my sisters head open because she threw a bottle of squash at me (we were younger, sorry Sophie 🤣❤️)
So that's me, I'm a bit all over the place, I'm an anxious, moody, angry, happy, bubbly mess of emotions. I'm trying my best to live with this crazy illness, and some days it does get the better of me. Yet I will never let this illness control my life.